Where I Belong

Am I really in the right job, am I using all my skills, am I challenging myself, am I working hard enough, am I working too hard?  Should I go back to school for a graduate degree, should I quit my job and become a missionary, should I go back to public accounting, should I start farming?  Should I learn how to write code for software programming, should I dedicate more time to write, do I spend too much time writing, does anyone ever read these things?  Would it be smart to sit tight until I find a wife before making a bold career move?  Or should I make the move and let relationships worry about themselves? Should I buy a new sexy pickup truck, should I buy a house, should I buy stock options that could pay off in multiples (or zero), or save it for a big shiny engagement ring in case I run into “Ms. Right?”  Or have I already run into her and I need to stop being ridiculous?

As you can see, sometimes the questions just roll around.  One leads into the other and I don’t have answers for any of them.  On occasion, the questions hang around for days and days and start to weigh on me.  Then for a while I forget about them.

Today, however, a solution came to me.  Not an answer to any of the questions, but a solution to the wonder, confusion, and uncertainty.  The High School students were leading worship at this church I’ve been attending and they were playing “Where I Belong” by Building 429.

Over the past days and weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about fulfillment.  Where do I find it and why do I need it?  I think about the places people seek fulfillment and where I seek fulfillment.  I think about the types of things that give extremely short-term satisfaction and what things last a bit longer.  But nothing really seems to permanently fulfill, for me or for others who I observe.

I know that I seek fulfillment in my career, playing and watching sports, my education, reading, writing, how I handle my finances, and probably many others.  None of those things are inherently bad.  It’s not wrong to watch sports, work long hours at the office, or budget meticulously.  But, it is important to remember that each of those things is only a temporary source of satisfaction.  The good feeling after nailing a project at work quickly fades after a few days and the next assignment begins.

All I know is I'm not home yet

This is not where I belong

Take this world and give me Jesus

This is not where I belong

As I sang the chorus, this became very clear to me: every one of those questions above is about me, what I can do for me, and how I can find the next thing that will provide me some satisfaction (insert cheesy Rolling Stones link here).

It’s not wrong to feel that hole, that void inside of you; it’s not wrong to seek to be fulfilled.  In fact, we were created with a void.  We were created with a need for something outside of ourselves, an itch that needs to be scratched, a thirst that must be quenched.  We all feel that and we all fill it with something.

And we have been given the free will to discover the proper piece that completes that puzzle.  We can try to fill it with work, with relationships, with drugs, with video games, with children.  But no matter what we try, each of those things will fade away, disappoint us, and ultimately fail to provide fulfillment.

It’s because nothing in this world is the right shape or size to perfectly fill the void.  We were created with a longing that cannot be assuaged by this world.  We have a God-sized, God-shaped hole within us and this world is not where we belong.

All I know is I'm not home yet

This is not where I belong

Take this world and give me Jesus

This is not where I belong