I learned something from Paul last weekend.
No, not this Paul -- although I think he's hilarious.
I mean the Paul who was Saul before he was Paul. That guy in the Bible, Book of Acts (and several other books also).
I was listening to the start of a sermon, mentally preparing myself for a pretty typical message about the stark 180 degree change of direction that happened when Jesus met Paul on the road to Damascus. If, like an old school comedian, the Pastor would have said, "stop me if you've heard this one," I'd have raised my hand.
But as I was settling in and mentally unwinding, a new perspective met me that changed the way I think about Paul and, as a result, the way I think about myself.
Again, before Paul was Paul, he was Saul. And Saul sent people to jail, specifically Christians. Saul, at the end of Acts 7 and beginning of 8, was pivotal in the execution of Stephen. He signed off on the group's behavior as they stoned Stephen to death.
But unlike every other time I heard the story, I finally realized that the conversion of Saul -- before he was renamed Paul -- wasn't a 180 degree change of direction. It was more like a 1 degree correction.
Saul was persistent, articulate, and fearless. As such, he was successful in a relentless pursuit of his goal. But for the fact that his goal involved stoning and imprisoning Christians and attempting to end the New Testament church before it began, Saul was dynamite.
Saul didn't sit back and wait for orders, he asked for permission to go accomplish his tasks. He didn't seek to manage his enemy, he sought to squash them at every chance. The high priests trusted him and would send him off with provisions and authorization. He was a rock star in his industry, on the fast track to the Old Testament equivalent of the C-Suite.
God wanted and needed everything about Saul. God needed the entire world to hear the Good News that Jesus had died for them and explain why that mattered to them. And no man on the face of the earth was more equipped to advance that audacious cause than Saul.
Because of his existing skill set, for Saul to become Paul, he didn't need an overhaul. He didn't need to change from an F-250 into a Tesla. He simply needed a slight adjustment in heading, which over the course of his journey would profoundly alter his destination.
Paul's fervor was no less than Saul's, he just changed from relentlessly defending and upholding the Old Testament Rule Book to tenaciously sharing and explaining the New Testament Messiah. Once zealous for the Law, now zealous for the Logos. Yes, very different life courses, but similar in passion and style.
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This is freeing. I no longer need to expend energy on this ongoing internal conflict and conversation of weighing the validity of the dreams and the goals on my heart. Are they worth thinking about? Are they worth chasing? And maybe more importantly, who do I need to become to be worthy of or justified in chasing them?
Our specific To Do List for today may not necessarily be anointed, but the desire to pursue the calling and the passions placed on our hearts certainly are.
From time to time our heading will need adjustment, our course will need correction to be snapped into alignment with God's plan. Sometimes that alignment and correction feels like an overhaul. But that's only because of all the junk we've covered ourselves with, the pile of other peoples' dreams and skills that we've hidden ourselves under.
I am so thankful I don't have to become someone different than I am today in order to become useful and valid and worthy. I am so thankful that who I am today is enough for today. Lord, uncover Your creation.
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