Am
I really in the right job, am I using all my skills, am I challenging myself,
am I working hard enough, am I working too hard? Should I go back to school for a graduate
degree, should I quit my job and become a missionary, should I go back to
public accounting, should I start farming?
Should I learn how to write code for software programming, should I
dedicate more time to write, do I spend too much time writing, does anyone ever
read these things? Would it be smart to
sit tight until I find a wife before making a bold career move? Or should I make the move and let
relationships worry about themselves? Should I buy a new sexy pickup truck,
should I buy a house, should I buy stock options that could pay off in
multiples (or zero), or save it for a big shiny engagement ring in case I run
into “Ms. Right?” Or have I already run
into her and I need to stop being ridiculous?
As
you can see, sometimes the questions just roll around. One leads into the other and I don’t have
answers for any of them. On occasion,
the questions hang around for days and days and start to weigh on me. Then for a while I forget about them.
Today,
however, a solution came to me. Not an
answer to any of the questions, but a solution to the wonder, confusion, and
uncertainty. The High School students
were leading worship at this church I’ve been attending and they were playing
“Where I Belong” by Building 429.
Over
the past days and weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about fulfillment. Where do I find it and why do I need it? I think about the places people seek fulfillment
and where I seek fulfillment. I think
about the types of things that give extremely short-term satisfaction and what
things last a bit longer. But nothing
really seems to permanently fulfill, for me or for others who I observe.
I
know that I seek fulfillment in my career, playing and watching sports, my
education, reading, writing, how I handle my finances, and probably
many others. None of those things are
inherently bad. It’s not wrong to watch sports, work long hours at the office,
or budget meticulously. But, it is
important to remember that each of those things is only a temporary source of
satisfaction. The good feeling after nailing
a project at work quickly fades after a few days and the next assignment
begins.
All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong
As
I sang the chorus, this became very clear to me: every one of those questions
above is about me, what I can do for me, and how I can find the next thing that
will provide me some satisfaction (insert cheesy Rolling Stones link here).
It’s
not wrong to feel that hole, that void inside of you; it’s not wrong to seek to
be fulfilled. In fact, we were created
with a void. We were created with a need
for something outside of ourselves, an itch that needs to be scratched, a
thirst that must be quenched. We all
feel that and we all fill it with something.
And
we have been given the free will to discover the proper piece that completes
that puzzle. We can try to fill it with
work, with relationships, with drugs, with video games, with children. But no matter what we try, each of those
things will fade away, disappoint us, and ultimately fail to provide
fulfillment.
It’s
because nothing in this world is the right shape or size to perfectly fill the void. We were created with a longing that cannot be
assuaged by this world. We have a
God-sized, God-shaped hole within us and this world is not where we belong.
All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong
1 comment:
Love this. If I wasn't already married to your cousin, I'd move out there and snatch you up myself.
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